Ever read a novel where the character’s every thought is laid out in excruciating detail, down to what they had for lunch and why their ex was probably texting them back? That’s internal monologue overdone. It grinds the pace down, muddies the narrative, and sucks readers out of a story. But when used well, internal monologue can be one of the most effective tools a writer has. It reveals character motivations, builds emotional depth, and brings readers closer to the protagonist’s inner world. Today at What We Writing, we’re guiding you through how to write internal monologue without overdoing it, taking you through all you need to know – from what internal monologue really is to how to write it with subtlety and purpose.
What Is Inner Monologue?
Internal monologue is the representation of a character’s thoughts on the page. It allows the audience to hear what a character is thinking, without the character having to voice these thoughts aloud. It’s an essential component of character-driven writing, offering insight into motives, emotions, doubts, and decisions.
Internal monologue is particularly common in deep point of view, first-person narration, and close third-person perspectives, where the reader is positioned close enough to the character to experience their thoughts in real time.
Internal Monologue vs. Internal Dialogue
These two terms are usually used interchangeably, but technically:
- Internal monologue is a character’s unspoken thoughts, typically delivered in their natural voice.
- Internal dialogue can imply more of a back-and-forth or conflicting thought process, almost as if the characters are having a mini conversation with themselves.
Both serve a similar purpose: unveiling what’s going on beneath the surface.
Internal Monologue vs. Stream of Consciousness
While stream of consciousness is a type of internal monologue, it’s far less filtered. Think of it as a raw, continuous flow of thoughts, often jumping from one idea to the next without punctuation or structure. It’s often used in literary fiction (think Virginia Woolf or James Joyce), but it is harder to manage in most commercial writing.
Internal Monologue vs. Narration
It’s easy to confuse internal monologue with narration, particularly in the first person. The key difference to remember is that:
- Narration describes what is happening.
- Internal monologue reveals what the character is thinking about what is happening.
Here’s an example to clarify what we mean:
- Narration: “I walked into the room and saw the mess.”
- Internal monologue: “Great. Of course, this would happen today.”
When used skillfully, internal monologue deepens characterisation and helps readers connect emotionally to the story. But when used too heavily or without clarity, it can weigh down the prose and confuse the reader. That’s why balance is the key to writing internal monologue, and the next section will cover the most common pitfalls writers fall into.
Avoid These Internal Monologue Mistakes
Even veteran novelists can trip up when it comes to using internal monologue. Whilst it is a powerful tool, it can easily bog down your writing if overused or mishandled. Here are some of the most common internal monologue mistakes – and how to avoid them:
Overexplaining Thoughts
Don’t restate the obvious. Trust your audience to understand subtext and emotion without spelling everything out.
Don’t: She looked out the window and saw the rain. “It’s raining,” she thought.
Do: Rain blurred the glass. Of course, it would rain today.
Using Internal Monologue Instead of Action
Internal thoughts should complement the story, not replace it. If your character spends paragraphs thinking while nothing else happens, the pace drags.
Don’t: I thought about how I should probably get up. I thought about the meeting, I thought about what I would wear.
Do: I shoved the blanket off. The meeting wasn’t going to wait for me to find motivation.
Confusing Formatting (Especially Italics)
Some writers italicise every internal thought. This becomes distracting fast. Italics can work when used sparingly, but internal monologue can often be presented in the character’s narrative voice.
Don’t: Why am I doing here? She thought. I don’t belong.
Do: She didn’t belong here. Every glance reminded her of it.
Tip: In deep POV, the line between narration and internal thought often disappears – no italics needed.
Info-Dumping Emotional Worries
Characters overthinking every detail can slow momentum and feel unnatural. Inner worries should feel immediate, not like a therapist’s transcript.
Don’t: I was feeling inadequate because I had always feared rejection, ever since my childhood when-
Do: They hadn’t called. Not even a text. Figures.
By spotting these missteps early on, you can tighten up your prose and write internal monologue that deepens your character without dragging the story down.
How To Write Internal Monologue Well
Knowing how to write internal monologue well means balancing authenticity, clarity, and brevity. When done right, a character’s thoughts should feel natural and insightful, pulling the audience closer to their emotional world without interrupting the flow of the story. Here are five techniques to help you get it right:
Keep It Brief and Purposeful
Internal monologue should reveal something important – emotion, motivation, conflict. If it doesn’t serve the scene or move the story along, cut it out.
Do: He knocked again. No answer. She’s avoiding me.
Don’t: He knocked again. No answer. Perhaps she wasn’t home. Or maybe she was home and didn’t want to talk to him because of what happened last Friday when they’d argued about dinner and-
Tip: If the internal monologue goes on longer than a few lines, check to see if it can be broken up with action or dialogue.
Show, Don’t Tell (Where Possible)
Instead of directly stating thoughts or emotions, you can imply them through an internal monologue that matches the character’s mindset.
Do: What a surprise. He’s late again.
Don’t: She was annoyed that he was late again.
Let the voice and context show the feeling, as opposed to summarising it.
Use Formatting Sparingly (Italics, Tags)
While it’s common to italicise thoughts or use tags such as she thought, doing it too often draws attention to the technique instead of the content. In close third or first person, you often don’t need any formatting at all.
Do: I should have walked away. But I didn’t.
Don’t: I should have walked away, she thought, but she didn’t.
Use italics for emphasis or to signal a direct, isolated thought, especially in genres or scenes with shifting POVs. But in general, lean on natural voice over visual markers.
Stay in Character Voice
Internal monologue is the perfect place to express character’s voice. Their thoughts should sound like them, not like the narrator, and definitely not like you, the writer.
Do: Seriously? This is how I die? Covered in chocolate?
Don’t: She was overwhelmed and panicking internally.
Even in third-person narration, the closer your POV, the more their inner voice should shine through with tone, vocabulary, and rhythm.
Anchor It in the Scene
Avoid drifting into long thought sequences that disconnect the character from their surroundings. Good internal monologue should respond to what’s happening right now, anchored in the moment.
Do: The door creaked open. Great. Just what I need – haunted furniture.
Don’t: She thought about her childhood home, about the time she lost her teddy bear, and then about how abandonment always found her.
Keep thoughts grounded in the character’s current sensory experience or emotional response to it.
Mastering internal monologue isn’t about adding more thoughts to your story – it’s about picking out the right ones and placing them where they’ll have the most emotional impact.
Examples Of Great Internal Monologue In Fiction
Sometimes, the best way to learn how to write internal monologue is to study how the pros do it. Below are some examples from well-known novels that demonstrate different approaches to internal thought, each used effectively and with purpose.
These examples can help you recognise what works and why so that you can apply the same principles to your own writing.
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
First-person, direct internal monologue woven into action.
“I volunteer!” I gasp. “I volunteer as tribute!”
There’s some confusion on the stage.
“District Twelve’s volunteer!” says the mayor.
Lovely. But I’m not done. “I volunteer!” I scream again. “I volunteer as tribute!”
Katniss’ internal monologue throughout The Hunger Games is raw and immediate. Collins utilises the first-person present tense to place the audience directly into Katniss’ mind. Her thoughts often interrupt or layer over action in high-stakes situations, creating urgency and emotional depth. There’s no need for italicised thoughts – her narration is her monologue.
Why it works: It feels real-time, emotionally reactive, and consistent with Katniss’ blunt, survivalist voice.
Normal People by Sally Rooney
Close third person with subtle, emotional undercurrent.
It’s funny the things people know about each other. He’s never told Marianne he loves her, and maybe he never will. But she knows, it’s obvious.
He keeps it quiet, but it’s there. Like a secret he can barely admit even to himself.
Rooney deftly blends narration with internal monologue, especially in the close third person. She often avoids quotation marks for dialogue and integrates inner thoughts seamlessly. In this passage, Connell’s thoughts appear not as a formal reflection but as a quiet internal truth through the narration.
Why it works: It’s emotionally restrained but resonant, showing how internal monologue doesn’t have to be dramatic to be potent.
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Distinctive first-person voice and wandering internal thoughts.
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born… but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
Holden Caulfield’s narration is a constant internal monologue – sarcastic, disjointed, insecure, and opinionated. The stream-of-consciousness style mimics real thought patterns without ever being completely unstructured. His voice is the novel.
Why it works: It’s 100% character voice. Every line deepens our understanding of who Holden is without ever telling us directly.
These examples show that effective internal monologue can:
- Blend naturally with narration.
- Reflect character voice and emotion.
- Vary in intensity depending on the scene.
No matter your genre or POV, studying how published authors use internal monologue will sharpen your instincts for when and how you use it well.
Quick Checklist for Internal Monologues
Use this checklist to make sure your character’s internal thoughts are adding value, not slowing the story down. These internal monologue writing tips can guide your edits and help you remain intentional when revising scenes.
Internal Monologue Writing Tips:
- Does the internal monologue serve a purpose – revealing emotion, decision-making, or conflict?
- Is it brief and to the point rather than rambling or repetitive?
- Does it reflect the character’s voice, not the author’s?
- Is it clearly anchored in the character’s current scene or emotional state?
- Have you avoided italicising every thought unnecessarily?
- Are you showing emotion or insight, rather than over-explaining or info-dumping?
- Does the internal monologue feel like a natural reaction to what’s happening?
- Have you balanced internal thoughts with action and dialogue?
- Are you avoiding “telling” what the audience already knows from context?
- Have you read it out loud to check tone, rhythm, and clarity?
This quick list can help you spot weak or excessive inner monologue before it starts derailing your story off course.
Wrap Up
Writing internal monologue is one of the most effective ways to establish intimacy between your readers and characters. When done effectively, it reveals hidden fears, emotional truths, and raw reactions that dialogue isn’t always able to capture. But, when overdone, it can drag scenes down, confuse pacing, or turn introspection into indulgence.
The key is balance: Keep it purposeful, anchored, and in your characters’ natural voice.
Now that you have the tools to write compelling inner thoughts, it’s time to put them into action.
- Try editing a scene from your WIP using our checklist above.
- Re-read a favourite novel and analyse how internal monologue is handled.
- Want feedback on a paragraph? Share it in the comments and let’s work together!
Have a tip or struggle when writing internal monologues? Share it below!
