how to write complex friendships

How To Write Complex Friendships In Fiction 

Friendships in fiction are so often more than just background connections – they can be the emotional centrepiece of a story. Whether filled with fierce loyalty, quiet tension, or years of shared history, complex friendships infuse a tale with depth, realism, and a sense of humanity that all readers connect to. Unlike romantic or familial bonds, friendships can be unpredictable, messy, and defined by subtle shifts in power, trust, and time. Whether you’re a novelist developing a sweeping character arc, a screenwriter developing sharp dialogue, or a short story writer focusing on intimate dynamics, the art of writing complex friendships can elevate your work. Join us at What We Writing as we explore how to write layered, believable friendships that resonate with readers through nuance, emotional contrast, and meaningful character relationship dynamics. 


Why Complex Friendships Matter In Fiction 

Fiction thrives on relationships, and whilst romance and family ties often hog the spotlight, it’s the complex friendships that can quietly mould a story’s emotional core. When developed with care, these relationships offer rich emotional texture, powerful story beats, and a sense of authenticity that lingers with the reader. 

Emotional Nuance

Friendships allow for a huge emotional range – comfort, resentment, admiration, jealousy, loyalty, and sometimes even betrayal – all without the clear expectations that sometimes come with romantic or familial bonds. This freedom creates spaces for layered, unpredictable dynamics that feel real and human. 

Plot-Driving Potential 

Complex friendships can push your narrative as effectively as any love story or rivalry. A falling-out between friends can act as a turning point. A secret shared only with a best friend can become a linchpin for your plot. These relationships often serve as catalysts for growth, conflict, and resolution. 

Reader Investment 

Readers often relate to friendship dynamics more easily than romantic ones. We’ve all experienced the closeness, tensions, and perhaps even the heartbreaks of friendship. When your characters’ bonds feel authentic, readers are more likely to care about what happens to them. 

Comparison with Romantic or Family Dynamics

Romantic relationships often come with expectations of intimacy and familial ones with duty. Yet, friendships live in the space in between – chosen, voluntary, and often tested by circumstance. This makes them uniquely powerful storytelling tools, able to mirror themes of loyalty, identity, and change in ways that feel both personal and fresh. 

Complex friendships - reader investments
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Key Elements Of A Complex Friendship 

To create realistic friendships in fiction, you need more than just two characters who get along. The most memorable fictional friendships are layered with tension, history, and moments that reveal the emotional depths of the relationship. Here are some of the most essential building blocks of a complex, believable bond between characters. 

Shared History and Backstory 

Strong friendships often come with a sense of time – they feel lived in. Perhaps your characters grew up together, or maybe they met under intense circumstances. This shared history informs how they speak to one another, what they expect from each other, and how they react under pressure. 

Example: Frodo and Sam in The Lord of the Rings have a deep-rooted bond formed before their quest began, and it anchors them through their most difficult times. 

Conflict and Resolution 

Even the closest friendships face strain. In fact, well-placed conflict can make a relationship feel more authentic. Maybe one friend betrays the other, or they drift apart on the back of differing values or goals. What matters is how the tension unfolds and whether – or how – it is resolved. 

Example: Elena and Lila in My Brilliant Friends routinely clash, their friendship brimming with admiration and competition, yet they remain tethered to their emotional thread. 

Unequal Power Dynamics or Roles 

Not all friendships are balanced. Sometimes one character leads while the other follows, or one gives more emotionally than they receive. These imbalances create compelling tension and opportunities for growth or fracture. 

Example: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson demonstrate a clear dynamic – Holmes is the genius, Watson the loyal companion – but it is Watson’s loyalty and moral grounding that lends the relationship weight. 

Jealousy, Loyalty, and Betrayal 

In close friendships, especially those forged over the years, strong emotions such as jealousy and hurt can bubble to the surface. Perhaps one character feels left behind or struggles with resentment. These emotions, when explored with care, can deepen the bond rather than break it – if you managed to nail the authenticity. 

Example: Harry and Ron in Harry Potter both experience jealousy and fallout, especially when Ron believes Harry is always in the spotlight, yet their friendship survives thanks to mutual loyalty. 

Inside Jokes, Rituals, and Habits 

The small details can often say the most about a relationship. Maybe your characters share an annual ritual, a nickname, or a running joke that no one else understands. These elements add warmth, intimacy, and a sense of realism. 

Example: Anne and Diana in Anne of Green Gables have their own language and traditions, reinforcing the closeness of their bond. 

Common Mistakes When Writing Friendships 

Even well-intentioned writers can fall into traps when depicting friendships. If the relationship feels flat, overly idealised, or lacks tension, it can weaken the emotional core of your story. Here are some common missteps to avoid when writing complex friendships in fiction

Making Friendships Too Perfect

Real friendships aren’t flawless, and fictional ones shouldn’t be either. When two characters always agree, never argue, and support each other without any personal stakes or complications, the relationship can feel unrealistic and unrelatable. Conflict, misunderstandings, and emotional friction are what make friendships feel alive on the page.

Neglecting Conflict 

Friendship without conflict usually lacks depth. It can be tempting to use a best friend character as a sounding board or emotional support, but this flattens the relationship. Instead, allow your characters to challenge each other. Disagreements, jealousy and differing worldviews can all enrich the bond, as long as the conflict feels earned and true to the characters. 

Relying on Dialogue Without Action 

Conversations are important, but if a friendship is solely based on talking, it can begin to feel hollow. Show the relationship in action through body language, shared habits, meaningful silences, or moments of support during a crisis. These physical cues often reveal more than words ever could. 

Lack of Growth or Change 

Just like romantic or familial relationships, friendships should develop over time. Characters change, and so too do their relationships. Maybe they drift apart and reconnect. Maybe a moment of betrayal shifts the dynamics permanently. A static friendship feels artificial; growth makes it believable. 

How To Write Strong, Complex Friendships 

Now that we’ve covered what makes friendships work – and where they can go wrong – let’s take a look at how to actually write complex friendships that feel real, dynamic, and emotionally resonant. These practical strategies will help you deepen your character relationship dynamics and bring out both the best and worst in your fictional friendships. 

Start with Character Arcs

A strong friendship often reflects or challenges each character’s personal journey. Think about how your characters influence each other’s growth. Do they push each other to change? Do they hold each other back? Aligning the friendship with individual arcs helps to create organic development and emotional payoff. 

Build a Shared World 

Even if your characters are very different, give them a shared space – memories, routines, a neighbourhood, or a workplace. This grounding makes the relationship feel lived-in and believable. It also presents opportunities for inside jokes, rituals, or repeated tensions that evolve over time. 

Let Them Clash – For a Reason 

Conflict should stem from who the characters are. Maybe one is deeply loyal and the other is secretive. Or one seeks independence while the other craves closeness. Use these traits to generate disagreements that feel inevitable but not contrived. Realistic friendships in fiction often thrive on tension. 

Use Subtex and Silence 

Not all communication is verbal. Some of the most powerful moments in friendships happen through gestures, glances, or things left unsaid. Let scenes breathe and trust the reader to pick up on emotional undercurrents. This conjures intimacy and realism. 

Balance Tenderness with Tension 

The best friendships have an emotional range. Show moments of vulnerability, laughter, and care – but don’t shy away from showing pettiness, envy, or disappointment too. This balance keeps the relationship complex and relatable. 

Complex Friendships Writing Prompts

Whether you’re plotting a new story or deepening character dynamics in a current draft, writing prompts are one of the best ways to spark fresh ideas. Use these to explore layered friendships and avoid the cliche of one-dimensional sidekicks or flawless companions. 

  • Two lifelong friends find themselves on opposite sides of a moral decision – but neither of them is entirely right or wrong. 
  • A friendship built on shared trauma begins to fray when one character begins healing and the other doesn’t. 
  • One character is fiercely loyal while the other is more self-serving – what happens when their goals finally clash?
  • A character reconnects with a childhood friend and realises how much they’ve both changed, for the better or worse. 
  • A friend discovers a secret that could upend their relationship – but keeping it could cause more damage. 

These prompts work across genres – literary, fantasy, thriller, YA – and allow space for both plot and emotional development. 

Wrap Up 

Complex friendships breathe life into fiction. They reflect real human connection – messy, meaningful, ever-changing – and give readers something to emotionally connect to beyond plot twists or romance arcs. Whether you’re writing a sprawling novel or a quiet short story, prioritising realistic friendships in fiction can elevate your characters and deepen your world. 

By weaving in shared history, emotional nuance, and character growth, you’ll establish bonds that feel just as compelling – and sometimes even more so – than any love story. 

Ready to write your next unforgettable friendship? Start with conflict. Start with care. And, above all, start with characters who see and change each other in unexpected ways. 

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